Talking to the Couples
by MapleRose
Summary: Welcome to Talking to the Couples, the newest, hottest talk show where the couples tell all, and hopefully won't end up in couples therapy...
1. Episode One: Athrun and Lacus

_AN: A strange idea that occured to me while falling asleep last night... I originally wanted to do it script-form, but since doesn't allow scripts, I wrote it in story form._

_Please remember that this is parody, I'm poking fun at the characters, so there are character OOC-ness. This is done purely for fun, no character bashing is intended._

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TALKING TO THE COUPLES  
Episode One: Athrun and Lacus 

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In a studio somewhere in the country of Orb, a camera started rolling. A black-haired young woman walked in, sat on the chair set out for her and looked into the camera.

"Hi everyone, welcome to _Talking to the Couples_ the newest, hottest talk show where the couples tell all, and hopefully won't end up in couples therapy (although the clinic did pay us a hefty sum sponsoring the show). I'm your host, MapleRose. For our first show, we have invited one of the PLANTs' most popular couples, Athrun Zala and Lacus Clyne. Come on in guys!"

The camera shifted to reveal a girl with long pink hair and a boy with blue hair walking in and sitting on the couch opposite MapleRose.

"Welcome to the show," MapleRose gestured with a smile, "Thank you for coming."

"Thank you for inviting us," answered the boy named Athrun.

"So, let's start with the basic question, how did you guys meet?"

Lacus and Athrun exchanged brief looks as if deciding who to answer. Finally, it was Lacus who replied, "We met when we were very young, actually, I can't quite remember our first meeting. But our fathers brought us together and I think Athrun's father brought him over to my house."

"Was it love at first sight?" MapleRose asked hopefully.

A slight blush stained Lacus' pale cheeks. "Well, I'm not sure if I remember correctly, but I think that I thought Athrun was very nice and sweet."

MapleRose turned to Athrun, "And what about you Athrun?"

Athrun seemed startled. "Me? Uh, probably not. I mean, I think I was like seven, I still thought girls were icky back then."

The pink-haired princess turned to Athrun, surprise on her face, "But Athrun, didn't you tell me that you've always liked me?" She sounded almost hurt.

At her expression, Athrun quickly replied, "Oh I've always liked you, I just didn't think of you as, you know, 'more than a friend' until my teenage years."

MapleRose nodded. "I see. So I guess you guys were okay with the fact that you were engaged?"

"Well, it's not like we had a choice," replied Lacus, "But Athrun was pretty good about it, I mean, he gave me the cute Pink-chan!"

"I had no problem with it," Athrun added, "It makes all of my friends jealous," he grinned. Then at Lacus' incredulous look, he quickly added, "And Lacus was a really nice person, I wouldn't mind getting married to her."

MapleRose stifled a laugh at Athrun's nervousness. Clearing her throat, she asked the next question, a question that a lot of teenage fans wanted to know about. "If things were good between you two, why did you guys break up? I mean, you guys were the most popular couple in the PLANTs, the most eligible bachelor and the popular pop idol."

Before Lacus could open her mouth, Athrun jumped in. "My father broke us up, because Lacus went against his policies."

MapleRose sighed, it seemed that he was avoiding the issue. "But wasn't the emotional break-up before that?" she pressed. "Lacus was seen with another guy and Athrun was seen with another girl. What happened?"

This time, it was Lacus who answered. "Well, I found that Kira's much nicer and sweeter than Athrun."

"WHAT!" cried Athrun in disbelief.

Lacus continued matter-of-factly. "I found that Athrun seemed to be neglecting me lately, what with fighting the war and all. When I tried to comfort him on the Vesalius about Kira, he pushed me away, saying that he can't be happy because he's fighting a war. "Fighting a war", that's all he talks about these days! I feel that war was more important to him than I was. It was then that I knew it wasn't going to work out. So I took revenge on him by dating his best friend."

"…" Both Athrun and Maplerose's mouths hung open at that comment. Athrun opened and closed his mouth to speak, but no words came out. MapleRose whispered in disbelief, "Wow, I had no idea that Lacus was so…" she trailed off, unable to find the right word.

Athrun cleared his throat a few times and finally seemed able to find his voice.

Well, well I don't care!" he stuttered. "I mean, Cagalli's, Cagalli's much… uh, prettier? no, uh, nicer? no, influential? no, popular? no…"

Then, as if making the discovery of the century, he palmed his face and cried out, "Oh why did I ever break up with Lacus!" He turned to the pink-haired girl, "Come on Lacus, aren't I better than Kira? I mean, I gave you all of those Haros, and what did Kira give you? Nothing! So Lacus, see, I'm better," he pleaded.

Lacus sighed and shook her head. "Actually Athrun, except for Pink-chan, those other Haros are actually quite annoying. Couldn't you have made something else besides Haros?" Then she turned to MapleRose, "Also, Kira needed me more. I mean, Athrun had his father to give him the new mobile suit, and Kira, I needed to steal the Freedom for him."

"You don't mind stealing for him!" asked MapleRose in surprise.

Lacus replied with her signature sweet smile. "I was just returning him the favour for saving me from that Fllay and those other EA thugs." Her voice lowered to a mumble then, "How dare they take me hostage!"

Before MapleRose could comment, Athrun cut in. He seemed quite worked up over this. "Fine! Who needs you anyway!" he told Lacus indignantly. "This was all my idea anyway. I, I'm taking revenge on Kira for taking my fiancée by dating his sister! Ha! So there!" he stuck out his tongue at his ex-fiancée.

MapleRose sighed and shook her head and say almost to herself, "Dude, you need to work on your revenge schemes…I heard Fllay has some neat ideas…"

But neither of the couple heard that comment, as they were busy still arguing.

"That's fine with me," Lacus retorted. "As long as I have Kira. You can date whomever you want for all I care!"

"Maybe I should take Kira away them," mumbled Athrun half to himself.

"What!" Lacus exclaimed. "That's just so wrong on so many levels!"

"I agree…" the host nodded. Athrun moved as if to make a comeback, but before he could do so, MapleRose jumped in.

"Anyway, that's all the time we have for this show! Hope you've enjoyed listening as much as they've enjoyed sharing." She paused and looked back towards Lacus and Athrun, who had their backs to each other and not talking, and smiled sheepishly, "Or, maybe not…Anyway, tune in next week for our interview with Kira and Fllay!"

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_AN: yup, I decided to make myself the host. I have to say, it's rather weird to refer to myself in third person... yeah Lacus is waaay ooc, but that's why it's so fun to do :)_

_I've got nothing against Cagalli or AsuCaga, just thought it was fun to have Athrun stutter like that._

_Anyway, comments, critiques, reviews welcome! Oh, and if anyone can come up with a better title for the show, please tell me!_


	2. Episode Two: Kira and Fllay

_AN: here it is, episode 2. There will be character OOCness; character bashing is not intended._

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Episode Two, Kira and Fllay

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In the studio, two people were already sitting on the couch. A red-haired girl latched onto a dark-haired boy, who tried his best to push her away, without avail. Soon, a dark-haired young woman walked in and sat on the chair opposite them. With a smile, she turned to the camera.

"Hello, and welcome back to _Talking to the Couples_. I'm your host, MapleRose. Today we have in the studio Fllay Allstar and Kira Yamato." Then she turned to the couple. "Welcome to the show."

But they weren't paying attention. The girl, Fllay, was busy trying to kiss the boy, and the boy, Kira, struggled to pull away. He was about to get off the couch all together when the host cleared her throat loudly.

"Ahem! I said _welcome to the show_"

"Oh," Kira stopped and settled back down, "Uh, yes, thanks."

"Yes," Fllay cut in, "We're glad to be here," she smiled sweetly.

"You mean _you're_ glad. I only came because you threatened me," mumbled Kira.

"What was that Kira?" asked Fllay with an overly sweet smile.

"N-Nothing. I said I'm happy that I came," he replied quickly with a fake enthusiastic smile.

"Ahem," the host cleared her throat again to get their attention. "Let's start, shall we. So how did you guys meet?"

"At Heliopolis," replied Kira.

MapleRose raised her eyebrow, "Would you care to elaborate?"

"I'll tell you," Fllay jumped in. "We both went to the technological school at Heliopolis. I was a grade younger than him, but me and his friend Miriallia used to hang out together, and I saw him occasionally."

Then she leaned closer. "But to tell you the truth, I thought he was a nerd back then."

"I see…" replied MapleRose. Turning to Kira, she asked, "What about you? What did you think of her?"

"I, I thought she was very pretty…" Kira answered carefully.

"Oh, Kira had a crush on me, I know," Fllay continued for him. "I just played hard to get," she said matter-of-factly.

"Right… Moving on, how do you feel about Kira being a Coordinator? It seemed to bother you a lot at first, but then all of a sudden, you don't mind anymore. What happened?"

"Well, I've never liked Coordinators. They killed my father and started this war. But my Kira's an exception. I mean, being with a Coordinator has its advantages too, if you know what I mean," she winked, and MapleRose shuddered, trying to get the mental picture out of her head.

"But aren't you angry at him after the death of your father?"

"Yes, well, yes Kira broke his promise to me that he'd be there to protect my father. So, I made sure that he would never break another promise to me again. Right Kira?" her fingers brushed his cheek, and he recoiled from the touch.

"So uh, Kira," MapleRose turned to the nervous boy, "I think this question is on the mind of a lot of people: you seem so innocent and sweet, why on earth did you sleep with Fllay!"

Before he could answer, Fllay jumped in, giving the host a glare, "How could he not? I mean, who could resist this body?" she straightened up and gestured. "I'm hot, okay. And it's every guy's dream to sleep with me," she huffed. "Don't you think I'm sexy?" she asked.

MapleRose turned away, wondering where her Tylenol was. "Sorry, I don't swing that way," she mumbled.

But Fllay wasn't finished. She grabbed Kira's arm and boasted, "Kira couldn't resist me," she grinned in triumph, "And in the end, I got what I wanted."

MapleRose raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Really? So how come Kira and you broke up then?"

Fllay narrowed her eyes at the host. "I was just using him, that's all! Once I got what I wanted, _I_ broke up with _him_!"

"Are you sure? Then how come you're still hanging all over him, and why are you so jealous of Lacus?"

At the mention of the pink-haired girl, Fllay's face grew red in anger.

"I am _not_ jealous of that bleep! She's no competition for Fllay, she doesn't even know how to kiss properly for god sakes!" she huffed.

"She's a witch, that's what she is. She's able to pull the wool over my Kira's eyes. She says _one_ nice thing to him, and this moron," she gave Kira a hard poke, "Becomes hypnotized and runs off with her!"

"It still doesn't change the fact that Kira ended up with Lacus and not you, so doesn't that like, prove that he likes Lacus better than you?"

"No," Fllay answered tartly. "I mean, look at how things ended, it was because of me that he was able to defeat that masked man," she said proudly. "Besides it's all the scriptwriter's fault. He killed me off so that Kira and Lacus would end up together!"

MapleRose sighed at glanced at poor Kira, who's been silent all this time, watching Fllay warily. This was getting nowhere. She quickly flipped through her notes for inspiration.

"Aha, here's another question." She turned to Fllay, "What about your fiancé Sai?"

"Ex-fiancé," she corrected. Then she snorted, "That loser? I wouldn't even give him a second glance. I mean, he can't even drive a Gundam. I've long put him out of my mind."

At that moment, the producer told MapleRose through her headphones that the guest was ready to come in.

MapleRose's eyes widened and she cried out, "Wait, I don't think that's a good—"

But she didn't get to finish her sentence, as a tawny-haired boy with tea-coloured glasses walked in.

Kira's mouth opened in surprise, and Fllay stood up in disbelief.

"You! What are you doing here Sai!" she exclaimed.

Sai looked a little bit unsure. "I, I was invited to this show, to you know, talk about our relationship."

"What relationship!" Fllay snorted. "We broke up, _remember_!"

"But Fllay…" Sai walked closer to the red-haired girl, reaching out pleadingly.

Fllay took off her shoe and held it in her hand, and aimed it at Sai's head.

Seeing the situation, MapleRose quickly got off her chair and snatched the shoe from Fllay's hand.

"No throwing things!" she scolded, "We don't want this to turn out like Jerry Springer, okay?"

"Fine!" Fllay humphed and sat back down, crossing her arms. Then she pointed to Sai, "Just don't let him near me."

"So, uh, Sai," the host gestured to a chair far from the couch Kira and Fllay were sitting on, "Have a seat."

Reluctantly, the boy sat down. He withered under Fllay's glare.

"So uh, you and Fllay were engaged once?" started MapleRose tentatively.

Sai nodded and opened his mouth to elaborate, but Fllay cut him off.

"Yes, but that was my father's idea. It's not like I ever _liked_ him or anything. Besides, since my father's now conveniently dead, we don't have any obligations anymore."

"But Fllay—"

"I have my Kira here, and that's all I need."

"I thought you guys broke up!" Sai protested. And MapleRose thought the same thing. Didn't she just admit that they broke up a moment ago?

"Well you thought wrong!" Fllay huffed and grabbed Kira's hand possessively. "Give it up loser, I'm with Kira now."

Sai looked dejected, and MapleRose almost felt sorry for him. But she also wondered why on earth Sai was trying so hard. Why did he like Fllay anyway?

"So Sai, are you and Kira still friends?"

MapleRose received no answer, as the two males refused to talk about this issue.

"Okay, moving on," continued MapleRose. "Sai, why don't you move on? Why are you so hung-up on Flake, er, Fllay?"

At that, Fllay glared at the host, who merely ignored it and turned to Sai, waiting for his answer.

"I, I don't know…" Sai looked thoughtful, as if he never considered this before. "But I saw her first! And Kira had no right to take her from me."

Then he turned to Kira, "Come on Kira," pleaded Sai. "Give her back. You have Lacus now, you two-timing jerk. Can't you go with her and leave Fllay to me?"

Suddenly, MapleRose felt something fly past her. Turning, she discovered in horror that Fllay's other shoe had made its way to Sai's head, knocking his glasses off. She had to admit though, Fllay had good aim.

"Oww, what was that for?" the poor boy examined his broken glasses as he rubbed his bruised cheek.

Fllay glared at him coldly in reply. "I told you, Kira and I are an item. He's _mine_, not that bleeping bleep's."

"But come on, Kira obviously likes her better, so why don't you go out with someone who will like you best?"

"Uh, Sai, I don't think…" MapleRose tried to stop the conversation, but failed miserably.

"Who says Kira like her better! Kira likes Fllay best!" retorted the red-haired girl, ignoring MapleRose altogether.

"Oh come on Fllay, it's so obvious to everyone but you," Sai didn't seem to get the hint.

"Are you suggesting that bleep is better than Fllay?" she narrowed her eyes.

"No, I didn't say—"

"_Tell him_," Fllay grabbed Kira's arm, hard. "Tell him Kira, about how much you like me so much better. I mean, you've never mistaken me for her now have you?" Tugging at Kira, she told the poor boy, "Tell him Kira."

"Uh, I," Kira stuttered, not sure what to do or say.

"Tell him," repeated Fllay through clenched teeth, and MapleRose thought she caught a glint in her eyes that made Kira gulp.

"Y-Yeah Sai, stop being so jealous. Fllay, Fllay's like me more, and I," he hesitated, but continued as Fllay tightened her grip on his arm, "And I like her, er, more, too." He cringed as the thought of Lacus seeing this show…he wondered why he'd ever agreed to come in the first place. Now, either way, he was dead.

"So there!" Fllay declared triumphantly. She edged closer to Kira and kissed him on the lips in front of everyone.

Sai's jaws dropped open. He clenched his hands and lunged for Kira and Fllay. MapleRose reacted quickly and tried to restrain him. But fueled by anger, Sai continued to advance.

Fllay broke the kiss and glared at Sai in annoyance. Sighing, she stood up, grabbed the floor lamp beside the couch, and held it out like a lance, pointing it towards Sai.

"Okay, uh I think, I think we'd better wrap it up, like _right now_," MapleRose spoke through clenched teeth at the producer while trying her best to pull Sai away from Kira and Fllay. "You know, before something else breaks."

The producer seemed to get the hint, as a crewmember rushed into the studio and took over the job of restraining Sai so MapleRose could wrap up the show.

"So," the host brushed herself off and turned to the camera with a fake smile. "That went…well. Hopefully, they'll get it all sorted out in therapy." Then she added, mumbling to herself, "I feel sorry for the therapist. And Fllay probably needs to go to a mental institution more than a couple's therapy session. I doubt any amount of therapy can cure her…" As if realizing that she's talking to herself, she looked up and looked at the camera again sheepishly.

"Oh, right. Uh, we wanted to invite Athrun back for the next show with Cagalli. Unfortunately, Athrun is busy sorting things out with Lacus due to their last appearance on this show, and Cagalli is busy chasing him down due to the things he'd said about her, so they will be unavailable for a couple of weeks at least. So instead, we've gotten hold of Ms. Natarle Badgiruel, and her date, who at the moment, is kept secret from me, and known only to the producer. So yeah, until next time, this is MapleRose, hope you've enjoyed the show!"

As the cameraman cut to the ending credits, the screams of Fllay, Kira, and Sai could still be heard in the background…

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_AN: lol, that was fun to write! hope you had fun reading it as well! comments, critiques, suggestions etc are welcome!_


	3. Episode Three: Azrael and Natarle

_AN: alright, here's episode three. Beware or innuendos, violence, and extreme OOCness :D_

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Episode Three: Azrael and Natarle 

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The studio in Orb was dark as everyone prepared for the start of the show. A spotlight shone on the host, as she turned towards the camera with a tight smile.

"Hello and welcome to another episode of _Talking to the Couples_. Remember me? I'm your lovely host MapleRose." The young woman paused and reached a hand into her pocket. Assured that her bottle of Tylenol was indeed there, she turned back to the camera. "Today, we have with us the captain of the Dominion, Natarle Badgiruel, and her, er, partner, the leader of Blue Cosmos, Murata Azrael."

As she said their names, the studio lights came on, revealing a dark-haired woman wearing a neat uniform. Beside her was a blond man in a baby-blue suit. The woman smoothed an invisible wrinkle on her uniform, and the man tried to put an arm across her shoulders, which she immediately swatted away. She shifted away from him, sitting at the very edge of the couch, as far away from him as she could.

"Ah, um, welcome you two," MapleRose started.

But neither was listening to her. Azrael moved closer to Natarle and extended a hand to touch her. Natarle narrowed her eyes, grabbed his hand and twisted his arm back.

"Oww, oww, let go!" he cried.

"How many times do I have to tell you, _don't touch me_!" she said through clenched teeth.

"Okay, okay, I won't, just let go, arms aren't meant to bent that way!" he cried mercy.

With an annoyed sigh, she released him, and he shifted to the other end of the couch.

MapleRose watched the exchange with a sinking feeling in her heart. She had a feeling that this could turn ugly.

"Are you guys done?" she asked tentatively, "Can we start the show now?"

Natarle looked at their host sharply. "Before we start, I just have one question."

"Sure."

"Why the hell am I here with _him_!" she pointed an accusing finger at the blond man, who was nursing his bruised arm and ego.

"Eheh," MapleRose smiled sheepishly, "Well, he's the closest guy that can be paired up with you."

Natarle narrowed her eyes. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Well," MapleRose swallowed, "We couldn't really find anyone else to pair up with you… Unless, you want to be paired up with Neumann, at least your hair would match, sort of."

"Neumann?" Natarle exclaimed, then paused as if to consider the idea. "Well, at least he's better than that -bleep- over there."

"Woah Natarle-san, watch your language please." MapleRose flipped through her notes, looking for some information on the couple. "He can't be all that bad, I mean, it says here that you've even kissed him once."

Azrael's eyes lit up at the mention of that incident. He sat up straighter and looked as if he wanted to say something, but Natarle gave him a death glare that made him swallow his words.

"You kissed him Natarle-san, so that means you at least don't mind him, right?" prodded MapleRose.

The woman looked flushed, and MapleRose wasn't sure whether she was embarrassed or angry. The host was starting to regret her question when Natarle spoke up.

"There's _nothing_ between us! Okay, I kissed him once. But that was during the Dominion reunion, and I was _drunk_ at that time! But ever since then, he's been trying to get me to sleep with him," she told the host indignantly.

"Oh… I see…" MapleRose looked away, mind whirling to figure out a way to get out of this one alive.

"So, uh, is there someone that you'd rather be paired up with then?" she blurted out, trying to steer the conversation away from Azrael and bed.

Natarle sighed, almost in defeat. "I just don't understand why everyone else got paired up with someone good, and I had to get paired up with this insane maniac! I mean, why couldn't I be paired up the sane blond guy instead of this crazy one!"

" 'Sane blond guy?'" MapleRose repeated, trying to remember the blond males in the cast, and which one was sane.

"Yeah, you know who I'm talking about," Natarle continued. MapleRose thought of the blond guy with the mask, but ruled him out, because he was insane too. "I mean, he's nice, funny, and not to mention really good-looking."

There was just one more blond male left on MapleRose's mental list.

"You mean Mwu la Flaga?" she asked incredulously.

Natarle blushed and nodded, and the host continued to look at her in disbelief. "Wow, I never knew you felt that way about…"

Natarle looked up, indignant now. "Why couldn't _I_ be paired up with him! Why does Murrue have to have all the luck? It's not fair I tell you. I mean, we both met him at the same time!" she grumbled, "Just because she's the captain and I'm only vice captain…and that her boobs are bigger."

"O-kay…" MapleRose said slowly, "I see that _somebody_'s jealous."

"Well wouldn't you be?" she retorted, "She get the nice guy while I'm stuck with this psycho maniac. Explain that one!"

"Um, Karma?

Natarle glared in reply.

"W-Well, now that you're a captain too, so uh, at least you guys are even there," MapleRose added quickly.

"Hmph. Now that I'm a captain too, maybe I should steal him from her," she grumbled. Then as if suddenly remembering an important detail, she quickly shook that idea out of her head. "Maybe not…Murrue is quite scary when you get her angry…Especially when she has the Lohengrin near…"

Her eyes lit up as she spoke those words as if an idea occurred to her. "Hmm, you know, maybe I should borrow her Lohengrin, that ought to keep that maniac away," she jerked her thumb at the blond man sitting on the other end of the couch.

"Eheh, yeah…" MapleRose trailed of, wondering how dangerous it was to continue the interview. "So I guess there's no way that you will agree to being a couple with Azrael-san then?"

"He threatened me with a gun and shot me," Natarle stated flatly.

"Oh."

"But that's how I show my affection, Dear," Azrael explained.

Natarle glared at him coldly. "If you want to keep your arms, I suggest you stop calling me 'Dear'"

"What about 'Honey' then?"

"No!"

" 'Sweetie'?"

"No!"

" 'Sugar'?"

"Eww, _no_!" Natarle looked as if she wanted to hurl.

"Then what am I supposed to call you? You don't like 'Miss Captain', and you don't allow me to call you by name either."

"Just don't talk to me at all!" she cried.

"Oh come on, at least I pay attention to you. That Mwu la Flaga won't give you a second look, you know."

Natarle gave him a withering look. "It's _unwanted_ attention."

But apparently he didn't seem to hear her. "Besides, that guy's only a Lieutenant Commander, and a deserter at that. Me, I'm the _leader_ of Blue Cosmos, the most powerful organization on Earth. So you could say I'm the most powerful man in the world, you know, the king of the world. And I," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively, "Can make you my queen."

Natarle looked disgusted. "No, thank you."

"Oh come on! I'm a powerful man in the bedroom too you know!"

MapleRose gagged and tried very hard to push out that mental image.

"Ugh, there he goes again…" Natarle rolled her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you, no, I will _not_ sleep with you!"

"But why not? What does La Flaga have that I don't have?"

"Ur, like sanity?" Natarle replied sarcastically, "That can be a big advantage you know. He's not a psychopath like you, and he doesn't have an obsession with nuclear weapons nor a superiority complex."

"But I gave all that up!" Azrael objected. "Since the war is over, and after a few counseling sessions, I no longer have the obsession with nukes."

"Seriously?" MapleRose found this new piece of information hard to believe. "You've given up your obsession with creating a 'blue and pure world'?"

"Of course not," Azrael replied. "That's the whole doctrine behind Blue Cosmos. I'm just going to find a new way to do it, I mean, since we're not allowed to use nukes anymore. We're thinking along the lines of meteors and other large 'natural' space objects."

"See," protested Natarle as if Azrael had just proven her point, "You're still obsessed with coming up with schemes to destroy things."

"But I'm a changed man, really! I've stopped stealing the drugs meant for the boys, and, and I'll even resign as the leader of Blue Cosmos if it'll make you happy. I'm willing to change for you Baby!"

Hearing that, MapleRose felt sort of…touched. She felt that it was kind of sweet, in a really strange way, that he'd be willing to give up his habits so that Natarle would sleep with him.

Apparently, Natarle didn't find it sweet. She merely looked away, gagging.

And Azrael didn't know when to give up. "You know, with me, you, and the boys, we'd be like a family."

"A very dysfunctional one," MapleRose mumbled.

Natarle shuddered. "I've _told_ you, I want nothing to do with you and your stupid boys!"

"Azrael-san," MapleRose interrupted. "If she says that she doesn't like you, then why don't you stop bugging her and leave her alone?"

Azrael looked at Natarle's angry face and laughed.

"Heh, she _says_ that she can't stand me, but in reality, what she means is that she can't stand not having me around."

"What!" Natarle glared at him.

"Why else do you think she told the crew to abandon ship and then locked the two of us in the bridge, alone?" Azrael waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

MapleRose arched her eyebrow. "I thought it was so that you wouldn't get away."

"Well, she told me that she wanted to die with me, that counts for something doesn't it?" he replied casually.

"No," Natarle interrupted through clenched teeth, "I told you that _you_ deserved to die with _me_."

Azrael shrugged. "Same difference."

"No, it's _not_ the same thing you -bleep-!"

"Whatever. What's important is that you wanted to die together with me."

"So why did you shoot her then?" MapleRose interrupted, exasperated.

"Like I said before, it's how I show affection," Azrael answered matter-of-factly. Then he started to laugh, as if remembering something.

"Why just the other day, when I did leave her alone for a week, she couldn't stand it. She actually came to find me," Azrael grinned smugly.

"What the…" Natarle looked panicked to MapleRose. "I found you because I needed to talk to you about _business matters_!"

"Right…" Azrael still had that smug grin on his face, and Natarle looked like she wanted to wipe it off with her fists.

Seeing this, MapleRose gulped, worried now. "Uh, but Azrael-san, I think she's quite serious," she gestured towards Natarle's clenched fists.

But Azrael didn't know how to take a hint. He just laughed it off.

"Nah, that's just how she shows that she cares."

"Like how you show affection with a gun?" MapleRose raised her eyebrow.

"Exactly! Our whole relationship is based on pain and threats, and that's how I like it. Right Sweetheart?" he tried to put his arms around Natarle again.

"NO!" she bent his arm back again. "Don't you ever learn you stupid -bleeping- -bleep-?"

"See, she does care," Azrael told the host through clenched teeth due to the pain being inflicted upon him.

"O-kay…" replied the host. "Ah, Natarle-san, if you want to break his arm, please don't do it here, we don't want any lawsuits."

"Oh. Okay, fine," she sighed and released his arm reluctantly. "But can we like duct-tape his mouth shut or something?"

MapleRose laughed nervously and checked the time. She heaved a sigh of relief as she saw that their time was almost up.

"Uh, I don't think that's necessary, because that's all we have time for, for this episode. Ur, thank you for coming."

"You're welcome," Natarle smiled sweetly.

"Yeah," MapleRose turned to the camera. "So that was another episode of _Talking to the Couples_. Um, Natarle-san and Azrael-san sure make an…interesting couple, don't they? And who knew Natarle-san has such a crush on her former comrade... I sure hope Murrue-san isn't too upset about it, because she's supposed to come in next week. Anyway, tune in next time as our guests Mwu la Flaga and Murrue Ramius reveal all! And hopefully there won't be violence or anything..." she trailed off, hopeful.

As the camera cut to the credits, MapleRose pulled Natarle aside.

"Um, Natarle-san, you know that this show is going to be aired, right?"

Natarle raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"And there's a chance that Murrue-san will be watching, I mean, she is on our guest list."

The black-haired woman gulped nervously. "Why, why didn't you tell me that at the beginning?"

"We did, when we invited you here, remember? It's in the waiver that you've signed, stating that we will not be responsible for any injuries or damaged resulting from anything said during this program."

"Oh." Natarle palmed her face. "Oh crap! Murrue's gonna kill me now, she and her Lohen—"

"No! No more Lohengrin jokes, please!" MapleRose pleaded desperately.

* * *

_AN: it was fun making Natarle so OOC :D But I don't blame her for being jealous or violent... I kinda feel sorry for her that her closest match was the crazy Azrael... though I do think that she did have a slightest crush on Mwu... dunno, just a theory of mine._

_ Oh yeah, about the Dominion Reunion thing, that came from a game on IMDB boards, where we were playing a game of survivor, and when all the members of the Dominion crew were taken out, LainEverlasting wrote a little skit about the Dominion Reunion, and the whole Azrael trying to get Natarle to sleep with him thing started. _

_MapleRose addresses both Natarle and Azrael with honourifics because they're both older than her, just thought I'd point that out :)_

_Yay Mwu and Murrue are up next! -fangirlish squeal-_


	4. Intermission

Intermission

-------

After the last show, the producer called the host for a mini-meeting, going over the results of their latest shows.

MapleRose sighed and mused aloud, "Maybe we should change the title to _Crazy Couples_ instead…"

"Well, maybe if we had more canon couples, you know, couples that actually get along, the show may not end so sour all the time…" the producer suggested.

"Yes, let's do that," agreed the host with a headache.

"Hmm," the producer considered what he'd just said. "But then it won't be as interesting. I mean, people love violence. That's why our rating's so high right now." A light bulb seemed to come on as the producer jumped up in excitement. "Hey, you know what we should do? Instead of couples, we should do love triangles!"

"What!"

"Yeah, like the time we had Fllay, Kira, and Sai. Maybe we should do Miriallia, Tolle, and Dearka, and see the boys fight over Miriallia. Or have Mwu, Murrue, and Natarle and see a catfight between the girls." The producer got more and more worked up at this developing idea. "No, if you want to see a catfight, let's invite Fllay, Kira, and Lacus! We can even throw in Cagalli too! Wouldn't that be great?"

MapleRose could only stare at the producer, mouth open in disbelief.

"No, _no_, NO!" she finally cried out. "I don't _care_ about the stupid ratings! I'd die if things go like you've just suggested! This headache will kill me, or I might end up being the one in a mental ward!"

"Oh come on."

"NO!" the annoyed host reiterated. "This was supposed to be for couples, remember? It's not Jerry Springer. If you changed it like that, then I quit! Find yourself another host who's willing to put up with this nonsense."

"Fine," the producer finally gave in. "We'll stick to couples."

"Good, thank you," MapleRose replied and left the room.

When she was out of earshot, the producer smiled. "Yes, we'll stick to couples…for now."

* * *

_AN: You're expecting the interview with Mwu and Murrue, and instead you get this little blurb... don't you feel cheated? what's this you ask? ur, a stalling tactic?..._

_I have the next chapter almost finished, and I can't decide on who to interview next, Asucaga or DearkaMilly..._


	5. Episode Four: Mwu and Murrue

_AN: Since I am an obsessed Mwurrue fangirl, beware of fluff, sap, and other words that describe fluffy sappiness :)_

_Oh yeah spoiler warning for Destiny._

* * *

Episode Four: Mwu and Murrue

----

In the studio for _Talking to the Couples_ in Orb, a man and a woman in their twenties sat on the couch, unsure of what to do. Opposite them sat the host of the show.

MapleRose stared at the blond man sitting in front of her and gave a dreamy sigh. One could almost see the stars, sparkles, and hearts in her eyes, and the drool coming from the corner of her mouth.

Frankly, this reaction from the host scared the man she was staring at. Mwu leaned closer to the brunette woman beside him and whispered, "Is she all right?"

Murrue studied the dazed host and whispered back, "I think she's just zoned out, maybe daydreaming?"

"So uh, should we…"

Murrue checked her watch. "It's been two minutes, I think we'd better, or the show won't ever start."

Mwu nodded. He stood up and walked over to the host, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Uh, excuse me?"

But it had the opposite effect, as an excited squeal escaped her as she melted under his touch, falling farther into her daydream.

The blond man groaned in frustration. He looked at the young woman sitting in front of him and waved his hand in front of her eyes.

"Hello? Are we starting this interview or what? If not, then we're leaving."

That seemed to work. The young hostess blinked and snapped back to reality. "Oh, sorry, I um, just had a fangirl reaction…" her voice trailed off.

"Is that like an allergic reaction?"

"Uh, well, sort of, but it's much more pleasant." MapleRose cleared her throat, "Yeah, um, so let's get started with the interview then."

Mwu raised a blond eyebrow, but didn't say anything. He walked back to the couch and sat back down, slung an arm across Murrue's shoulders, and waited expectantly.

"So uh, welcome to the show, I'm so glad that you could both make it. Let's start with the basic question," MapleRose cleared her throat again and avoided looking at her guest, in case she had another fangirl reaction. "Where did you guys meet?"

"Heliopolis," they both answered simultaneously. Looking at each other, they then started laughing.

"Sorry, I thought I was supposed to answer," Murrue told him, leaning against his shoulder.

"Ah, that's okay, great minds think alike, or so they say," he replied, laughing. Then he looked back to the host, waiting for the next question.

MapleRose found herself staring again. Shaking her head, she quickly glanced at her notes.

"I see. Um, so what did you think about each other, was it love at first sight?"

The couple looked at one another, silently discussing who should go first. Finally, Murrue answered.

"For me, no actually. Um, I," she paused and looked unsure. "Are you sure you want to know what I really thought about him?"

"Of course," answered the host. "Don't be shy about telling the truth. It's what this show is for after all."

"Relax Murrue," he assured her as well. "I won't get mad or anything if that's what you're worried about."

"Okay, if you really want to know…" she straighted up and continued. "Actually, when I first met Mwu, I thought he was an egotistical and irresponsible slacker who's in love with himself and loves to brag."

"Hey!" her boyfriend protested with feigned offense.

Murrue merely shrugged. "Well, you wanted the truth. I mean, you kept on proclaiming that you're the man who can 'make the impossible possible'. If that's not egotistical, I don't know what is."

Mwu sighed. "Okay, I guess…but where did the 'irresponsible slacker' part come from?"

Murrue laughed. "Does it bother you that much? I said I _thought_ you were irresponsible, what with how you acted like nothing was wrong and didn't seem to take anything seriously. But soon I saw that you were one of the most reliable person I've ever met," she patted his hand in assurance.

"What about you, Mwu-san, what did you think about Murrue-san when you first met her?"

"Hmm." Mwu looked at the woman sitting beside him, looking her up and down as if studying her. Then, he tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I could tell you… but I don't think you'd want to know."

Murrue rolled her eyes. "Yeah… I figured you'd say something like that…and you're right, I don't think I want to know."

The host sighed and shook her head. "I think we get the idea."

Then she remembered something from the last episode, and couldn't resist asking. "What about Natarle-san, what did you think of her when you first met her?"

"Natarle?" Mwu looked confused, "What about her?"

But Murrue wasn't one bit confused. She'd heard about what Natarle had said about her Mwu.

"Just because that woman can't find a guy on her own, she—"

"Okay, I'm sorry to interrupt, but we have to move on," _before things get ugly, or worse, before those Lohengrin jokes start._

"So um," MapleRose flipped through her notes, "When did you get, you know, serious about each other?"

Murrue snorted. "Well, when I saw him ogling over me, I knew _he_ was serious."

That answer made Mwu laugh. "Oh come on, do you really think I'm that shallow?" he asked, pretending to sound hurt.

"Don't pretend to be so innocent. I saw you gawking."

"Yet you didn't do anything about it, Cap'n," he winked. She looked away, blushing, causing him to laugh again.

"But seriously, when she came to the hangar, asking me not to leave, I was so happy because she cared about me," he told the host.

"Is that why you came back then?" asked MapleRose, referring to the incident at JOSH-A.

"Yup!" he replied. "Of course, I came back for her."

MapleRose felt all soft and squishy inside hearing those words, and almost went fangirl again. But she quickly pinched herself and brought the fangirl in her under control, for the time being anyway.

Murrue blushed and smiled to herself. "Yes well… I was sad to see him leave… I think that was when I realized…" she trailed off, blushing. "I have to admit, I was really surprised to see him show up on my bridge in the middle of a battle, but I don't think I was ever so glad to see someone."

Then she turned to the man beside her and smiled. "Thank you Mwu. You saved us from being microwaved," she giggled, "Though I must say it was quite an entrance that you've made. I thought you were some crazy idiot trying to pull off a stupid stunt."

"Hey, I pulled it off, didn't I?" he protested. "I didn't exactly have many options you know, so I did what I could."

Murrue shook her head, a smile tugging at her corners. "You really are crazy and hopeless."

"Thank you."

Murrue rolled her eyes and beckoned for the host to continue.

"Oh," MapleRose snapped out of her trance. "Right. About your first kiss, it was on the bridge of the Archangel, right?" Both of the guests nodded in confirmation, though there was a tint spreading on Murrue's cheeks.

"Hmm, I have to say, it was very smooth of you Mwu-san, pulling a kiss out of nowhere like that," said MapleRose.

"Why thank you," Mwu grinned proudly.

"Though, it wasn't exactly the most romantic spot, is it…" the host continued.

Mwu shrugged. "Hey, it was in a middle of the war, you try finding a more romantic spot."

"Well, true," MapleRose replied, "But you could've waited for a more romantic setting like, oh say a sunset or something."

"We were busy that time, there weren't too many moments when we were alone," Mwu explained, sounding slightly defensive.

MapleRose giggled. "But you got caught anyway."

At that, Murrue's face flushed as she hid her face in Mwu's shoulder. Mwu just laughed.

"Yes, yes we got caught, but it doesn't matter."

"Not to you…" Murrue mumbled into his shirt.

"Why, didn't you like the kiss?" Mwu asked her with feigned offense.

"I," she looked flustered, "It's not that I didn't _like_ the kiss, but the crew saw us, and…"

"Heh, don't mind her," Mwu told the host, "She's still embarrassed about it."

"And apparently, _nothing _embarrasses you," Murrue retorted.

Mwu laughed again. "True. But I don't know what you're still so embarrassed about Darlin'," he kissed the top of her head. "I mean, after all that we've done together, like that night at—"

"Okay!" MapleRose interrupted before too much information that she'd rather not know about was revealed. "Let's fast forward to Colony Mendel. How did you react to the news of Mwu-san being injured?"

"Oh," Murrue lifted her head to look at the host. "I, I was surprised I guess, then I got kind of scared that even the great Mwu la Flaga got injured," she admitted.

Mwu patted her hand and told the host, "Nah, it was just a scratch. She worries too much."

"As for me, it wasn't exactly fun though. I couldn't do anything except eat and sleep," he sighed. "I snuck out to find Murrue a couple of times, but then I get caught and placed back into confinement."

"Come on, it wasn't 'confinement', it was for your own good that they wanted to monitor your condition for a few days."

Mwu made a face. "I had to sleep in the sick bay for those three days, they won't even let me sleep in Murrue's room. Those were the darkest days of my life, I tell you." He made a dramatic gesture, which made Murrue laugh.

"Oh stop being so overdramatic!" she swatted at his arm.

"Who's being overdramatic? I'm telling the truth," he insisted.

Murrue rolled her eyes and ignored his theatrics. Turning to the host now, she spoke up, "But I guess it wasn't all bad. We had some time alone together, and he told me about his father and his childhood."

"Aww, he told you about his childhood? That's so sweet!" MapleRose exclaimed.

"It is?" Murrue was confused.

"Of course! Because it means he really cares about you," MapleRose explained. "I mean, guys usually only tell women they love about their past."

"Oh," Murrue looked away and blushed.

"Hmm, it's true," Mwu took this opportunity and kissed her, "I do love you Murrue."

MapleRose let out a dreamy sigh and the fangirl in her almost escaped again. "You're so lucky Murrue-san…"

Before Murrue could reply, Mwu spoke up, "Oh no, _I'm_ the lucky one, to have her by my side."

Murrue smiled to herself and leaned into Mwu.

"Oh, you're good," MapleRose commented.

Mwu laughed and winked at MapleRose, which caused her to melt into a puddle of fangirl goo. "Yes, I know."

Murrue looked at him. "Yes, I suppose he _is_ rather charming and sweet most of the time. And sometimes he's rather annoying… But then there are those times when he's just a plain jerk."

"A jerk? Who me?" Mwu looked appalled. And the host was curious at that comment too and asked Murrue to elaborate.

"Well," she started, folding her arms, "Like the time that he promised to be 'right back', bringing victory back with him."

"You know," he protested softly, "Technically I didn't _promise_ to be back, I mean, I didn't say 'I promise'. I just said that I'll be back."

She huffed, "It's the same thing."

He sighed in defeat. "Yeah I know…and I'm sorry Murrue. But you know, I couldn't exactly just sit back while I watched the Archangel—and you—get blown to pieces, now can I?"

"And you think it was fun for me to watch you get blown to pieces?"

"No…" he exhaled again. "But really, I didn't have too many options at the time."

Murrue sighed as well. "Yeah… I guess so…I shouldn't really be angry with you for that. I'm sorry Mwu," she took his hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.

He smiled softly. "Besides, I did keep my promise by coming back, didn't I?"

"Yeah, well, you said 'right back', not 'two years'," she teased.

"Hey I came back, and that's what's important, right?"

"Mwu-san," MapleRose interrupted, "How _did_ you survive anyways? I mean, that explosion looked quite fatal." Then at Murrue's dismayed look, she quickly added, "Not that I'm not glad you somehow survived. I'm just curious, as I'm sure most of our viewers are."

"Heh, well," he scratched his head, "I'm not exactly sure really. I don't really remember. But I think it had something to do with plot holes, special editions, producers, scriptwriters, and contracts, and perhaps some tips from Kira and Waltfeld." He shrugged, "I did always tell everyone I could make the impossible possible." Then he turned to Murrue with a smug grin, "See, I told you I could, now do you believe me?"

She sighed. "Yes Mwu, I guess I believe you. I mean, even _I_ can't understand how you could've survived that, especially without a helmet in the middle of space…unless you really made the impossible possible." Then she smiled, "But I guess I don't really care how you did it, as long as you're here."

Then she looked away, as if remembering something. "But you're still a jerk, not remembering me, and denying who you are."

He exhaled. "I know…But that wasn't my fault either! Explosions tend to leave side effects you know. I mean, look at Waltfeld, he's lost an arm and leg."

"What about Kira?" asked MapleRose. "He survived a couple of explosions, and he didn't seem to lose anything."

"Oh, they told me that Kira was underage."

" 'They?'" asked Murrue. "Who are 'they'?"

"The people who brought me back to life, something along the lines of scriptwriter I think," he answered vaguely and shrugged. "I'm not really sure myself."

"Oh."

"Mwu-san, I have to agree with Murrue-san there though," MapleRose pulled them back on topic, "You were kind of a jerk, making Murrue-san cry like that."

Mwu winced. Apparently he had been chewed out on this topic a lot.

"Okay, fine, I know I was a jerk. I've done a lot of things that I'm not proud of. But it was all in exchange for my life back with Murrue. I swear I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I signed that contract."

There was that reference to the mysterious contract and those mysterious people again. MapleRose decided not to go into that, so she decided to change the topic.

"And that hair…No offense Mwu-san, but I don't think you look good with long hair."

He laughed. "Yeah, you're right. I like shorter hair better too. It uses so much less shampoo and makes me look so much more masculine. That's why I cut it, see?" he ran a hand through his short blond curls.

"Yeah," MapleRose sighed, smiling while staring at him again. "I see that. And I see that you got rid of that ugly helmet thing too. That, the long hair, and white gloves reminded me too much of Rau le Creuset."

Mwu wrinkled his nose in distaste and shuddered at the idea of becoming like that other blond guy. "It wasn't my idea. Part of the contract."

"I see…" MapleRose made a mental note to herself to check up on that mysterious contract later.

"So anyway," said MapleRose, flipping through her notes and decided to get back to the interview. "Why didn't you fly away when Murrue-san let you go?"

Mwu pulled Murrue closer to him. "Because I didn't want to leave my Murrue again."

Murrue blushed. "You, you didn't even remember who I was then."

"But part of me remembered," he objected.

"Yeah, I know, you told me," she smiled. "He's like a boomerang, always returning to me no matter what."

He laughed. "Well, that's one way of putting it."

"But you aren't leaving again, right?"

"I don't plan to Darlin'," he replied, brushing his lips against her cheek.

MapleRose zoned out into semi-fangirl mode again. She was snapped back to reality at the beep from her headphones reminding her that time was almost up. She cleared her throat and asked the last question.

"So, any plans for the future? Like kids, maybe?"

"K-Kids?" Murrue was quite taken aback by that question. She blushed at that thought. "Maybe one day…but—"

"But first we'll have to get married, right?" Mwu finished for her with a wink that made her blush grow redder.

"I, I was gonna say that Mwu isn't responsible enough to be a father yet," she mumbled, trying to hide the grin on her face.

He laughed and hugged her. "Maybe you're right. Besides, I don't think I'm ready to share you yet."

The fangirl in MapleRose was getting harder and harder to control. As she got ready to wrap up the show, a thought suddenly occurred to her.

"Hey you know what I just realized Murrue-san? If you do get married, then Rau le Creuset would be like your father-in-law. And so would Rey Za Burrel for that matter."

Murrue looked horrified at this realization, and Mwu pretended to gag.

"I'd rather not think about that," he told the host.

"Yeah…It'd be a strange family reunion, that's for sure…"

MapleRose's headphones beeped again, remind her that time was up. So she turned to the camera and smiled happily.

"This episode was actually pretty peaceful wasn't it? I hope you enjoyed it as much as they enjoyed sharing—and as much as I enjoyed watching. For the next show, due to popular demand, we've managed to chase down Athrun Zala and Cagalli Yula Athha. And hopefully, things will be as peaceful as they were this time."

As the lights dimmed and the credits started rolling, Mwu pulled Murrue into his embrace and kissed her.

Seeing this, MapleRose let out an excited squeak and finally had another fangirl reaction.

* * *

_AN: wow, MapleRose sure is an obsessed fangirl isn't she :) and I'm sure the fangirl in her would probably scare Mwu...and Murrue too... I think if MapleRose didn't love Murrue so much (in a purely platonic way of course), she would be very jealous._

_Wow, this chapter turned out so long! (it probably won't be this long again) 'cause MapleRose just has so much to say to them. _

_The part about men only revealing their past to women they care about comes from Air Summer Special. I thought about it, and it's true._

_I couldn't help poking fun at Destiny too. The contract and stuff comes from my one-shot "How to Survive Fatal Explosions". And yes, I do like Mwu so much better with shorter hair... and his Destiny appearance does make him look Creuset-ish ;)_

_The last bit I can't resist, just an observation I've made: _www. geocities. com/mwurrue/ artOT6.html


	6. Episode Five: Athrun and Cagalli

Disclaimer: No the authoress does not have anything against Athrun or Cagalli, or Fukuda and his wife, nor the pink-haired-girls of Destiny, nor Shinn (oh wait, scratch that last one...). Character ooc-ness and slight bashing may or may not occur in the name of parody. Enjoy.

* * *

Episode Five: Athrun and Cagalli

----

In that unnamed studio in Orb, on the couch reserved for the guests, sat a blond girl with short hair, wearing the purple outfit of the ruling council of Orb. She examined her nailed and waited impatiently for the show to start. Beside her was the blue-haired boy that had been here for the show's first episode. He sat straight, somewhat nervous as he occasionally glanced at the girl beside him.

"Hello everyone," the host, MapleRose, came in at that moment, smiling at the camera and introduced herself. Then she sat down on the chair opposite the couch and turned to her guests.

"Welcome to the studio Cagalli," she nodded at the girl. "And welcome back Athrun."

The boy, Athrun, returned the greeting with a tight smile and gave another glance at the girl beside him, carefully observing her expression.

Cagalli merely smiled at the host. "Thank you for inviting us. Athrun and I are glad to be here, right Athrun?"

She turned to him and gave him a "you better not mess this up" look.

Athrun chuckled nervously and nodded, praying that he wouldn't say something that he would regret. Like last time he was here. It was just his bad luck that Cagalli had been watching this particular show that day and heard him imply that Lacus was so much better than her in every way. Since that last show, he had been trying his best to make himself scarce. Unfortunately, Cagalli was quite influential and found him rather quickly. He shuddered at the look on Cagalli's face and winced at the lecture that he'd gotten.

"So, let's get started, shall we?" MapleRose smiled at her guests. She was hoping that this interview would be as easy as the last one. But just in case, she had her bottle of Tylenol tucked into her pocket.

"Athrun, why don't you start by telling us how you guys first met?"

Athrun looked nervous still. He cleared his throat carefully before answering. "Uh, the truth is, uh, we met on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere," said Athrun. "She came at me with a gun and shot me in the arm."

"Oh. How…romantic," MapleRose commented, reaching for her Tylenol, as she was suddenly reminded of the interview with Natarle and Azrael.

Cagalli gave Athrun a look that made him shrink back.

"Well, he was wearing a ZAFT uniform, and I was fighting with the Archangel. Of course I would shoot him, he was an enemy then," she explained, lest anyone got the wrong idea.

"I see…" nodded the host. "So then what happened?"

Cagalli looked away, embarrassed. "I attacked him and kinda ended up losing…" the last bit came out mumbled, as if she didn't want to admit it.

Athrun let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, I was about to kill her, but I stopped when her scream clued me in on the fact that she was a girl." Cagalli gave him a death glare that made him immediately clam up.

MapleRose raised an eyebrow and commented sarcastically, "What a wonderful way to start a relationship."

"Yeah, and you know what the first thing he says to me is? The first thing that he says to me is 'you're a girl'? As if he couldn't tell," Cagalli humphed.

Athrun laughed. "Well, from the way that you were dressed, and that haircut... I was surprised to discover that you were a girl, but I guess from that scream..." he laughed again.

Cagalli glared at him again for a second, before mumbling, "Why is everyone so surprised to find that I'm a girl? Can't they tell? I mean, didn't they ever learn about anatomy and biology?! Kira said the same thing to me, twice."

"I think it's your appearance that fools people at first," MapleRose explained helpfully.

"Then how come nobody mistook Athrun for a girl! I mean, with his haircut and those feminine eyes..."

"Hey!"

MapleRose laughed. "Maybe it's because they're used to it. I mean, except for maybe Dearka, the whole Le Creuset team looks kinda feminine."

Athrun groaned. "Can we not talk about my masculinity please?"

"You mean your lack thereof," MapleRose mumbled, and she was met with a glare.

"Uh, so anyway, what happened after that?" she asked quickly, hoping to change the subject.

"I let her go after finding out that she was a girl," answered Athrun matter-of-factly.

"Why? Just because she's female?"

"I don't beat up girls you know," Athrun answered defensively, and Cagalli looked kind of angry for some reason.

"I can take you on any day. I, I was just not ready that day, that's all."

"Sure…" he gave her an amused grin. MapleRose noted that Athrun seemed to be much more relaxed now. Either that, or he was beginning to forget his last incident.

"Anyway," MapleRose decided to speak up before Cagalli could, "So you guys spend the night together?"

"It's not like we had much of a choice. It was an island and there were only the two of us," Athrun answered. Then catching Cagalli's eyes, he quickly added, "But it's not like I minded. I mean, once we stopped fighting, we actually got along pretty well."

Cagalli smiled, and MapleRose noted a slight hint of blush on her cheeks.

"Yeah. Athrun actually untied me and shielded me from the rain, which I thought was strange at the time, but it was nice of him."

Athrun's cheeks stained a bit too, remembering. "Well she was getting wet, and the tide was coming in," he explained. "Besides, since I've already thrown away her gun, I didn't think she was going to be a threat to me anymore."

"But I guess you thought wrong, since it says here that she stole your gun," MapleRose smirked as she read her notes. "I guess you let your guard down, oh soldier of ZAFT."

Athrun looked indignant at that comment. "I didn't think she'd have the guts to do that."

"Hey I have more guts than you give me credit for Athrun!" Cagalli protested.

"So why didn't you kill me then?" he asked.

"I—" Cagalli paused, as if trying to think of what to say. "Y-You shared your food with me and let me go, I, I thought I owed you one, that's all. Besides, you're just as naïve about the war as I was, I thought I should let you live longer to find the answers."

"Oh come on Cagalli, the real reason is because you liked him wasn't it," grinned MapleRose.

"It was not!" protested Cagalli, cheeks pink. Then seeing Athrun's disappointed face, she added, "I, I mean, the real reason is what I just told you, okay."

"Sure," MapleRose grinned smugly, but decided to move on, because Cagalli looked to be in quite a fix then.

"So, then what happened?"

"Well, Miss I-know-how-to-fight here threw the loaded gun on the ground, even though that's the first thing every soldier knows _not_ to do," Athrun grinned, as if enjoying teasing Cagalli.

"I, I got frustrated, okay?" she protested.

"Whatever," Athrun laughed. "But she just gave me another injury," he told the host.

"I said I was sorry," Cagalli cut in before MapleRose could comment, "Besides, I did help you take care of the wound."

"Yeah, I guess," Athrun suddenly blushed.

"Hey Athrun, why are you blushing?" MapleRose prodded, noticing the sudden change in the boy's complexion.

"N-No reason!" he looked away, blushing even deeper.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you saw Cagalli in her underwear would it?" teased the host.

"N-No!" Athrun was growing redder and redder by the minute.

"Sure…" MapleRose grinned, but decided to let the boy was embarrassed enough and let off the hook. But not before one more comment which she couldn't resist. "So Athrun, what's this I hear about crabs?"

As expected, the boy instantly turned into the colour of the Justice.

"Athrun's afraid of crabs," Cagalli giggled at the memory and Athrun's reaction.

Athrun flushed at her comment. "I, I wasn't afraid of them, I've just never seen them before!"

"C-Could we move on please!" he pleaded, hoping to change the subject.

MapleRose sighed. "Alright. What about your second meeting then?"

Athrun blinked, then tilted his head, as if trying to remember. "Well, I woke up, and she was standing in front of me, pointing a gun at my head."

"Oh. Again?" MapleRose was starting to wonder if Cagalli, like Azrael, used the gun to show her affection.

"Yes again," he sighed.

"That's 'cause I thought you killed Kira, you jerk!"

"Yet for some reason, you still didn't end up killing me," Athrun smiled softly, which made Cagalli blush.

"I-I didn't want anyone else to die," she muttered. "Besides, killing you wouldn't change anything. It won't bring anyone back to life. All it will do is continue the cycle of killing."

Athrun nodded and smiled again. "Yeah, I guess your words then helped me decide what to do with my life. And thanks for the pendant by the way, it really protected me."

Cagalli blushed again. "Y-You get injured way too easily, and you're way too reckless."

"You mean as reckless as you?" he teased, to which Cagalli replied with a growl.

"Thanks for the thought anyway," he laughed.

"So," smiled MapleRose, "Tell us about your first kiss. It was before the final battle wasn't it?"

Both Athrun and Cagalli turned red at that, and they looked away from each other, stuttering.

"Uh, c-could we not talk about that?"

"Yeah, it's kind of um, personal you know."

MapleRose sighed. Oh well, she tried. But she smiled at their reaction. They were still teenagers, and were still too embarrassed to talk about the kiss.

She sighed. "Fine. So um, what about Destiny?"

Cagalli bristled at the mention of that subject. "I don't want to talk about that either. Athrun was three-timing me with those pink-haired girls!"

"I, I wasn't!" Athrun protested quickly, realising he was treading on dangerous grounds now.

"Oh yeah? Then what about those photos of them hanging all over you! Like the one with that Lacus-wanna-be waking up in your room! Or that red-haired girl standing in the shower with you!" Cagalli looked like she was about to explode.

"I couldn't help it! They came at me!" Athrun protested quickly, praying that he would live through this as he gave the host a death glare for bringing up this subject. MapleRose winced, and wished she'd never opened her big mouth. She could see a headache coming.

"Oh so they just _threw_ themselves at you eh. And I suppose you're going to tell me that you did your _best_ to fend them off?" asked Cagalli sarcastically. "What is with you and those pink-haired girls? You've got a harem going on in Destiny, jeez!"

"Oh, and I suppose you're so innocent," retorted Athrun. "What about that blue-haired idiot?!"

"You mean you?"

"No! My hair's more of an indigo!" he pointed to his aforementioned hair. "I was referring to that stupid Yuuna guy."

"It's not like I wanted to marry him! We were like engaged when we were little, and I had no choice in the matter. I was waiting for my red knight to get me out of it, but where was he? Somewhere in the PLANTs, enjoying the company of some pink-haired girl, right?!" Cagalli huffed. "In the end I had to get my little brother to bail me out!"

That made Athrun quiet for a moment.

"Hey, don't blame me, blame the director and script writer!" Athrun supplied quickly, hoping to get Cagalli off his case and calm down.

Except it had the opposite effect. Instead of calming down, Cagalli seemed even more worked up at the mention of the director and script writer. She clenched her fists, and one could almost see the fire blazing in her eyes.

"Why that -bleeping- director and his wife!! Ugh! I can't believe what they did to me! How dare they replace me with a whole bunch of incompetent pink-haired girls and make me lose to that stupid and immature kid Shinn! Why I ought to get on the Akatsuki and go find—"

"Uh, Cagalli, I think you're getting a bit off-topic here," MapleRose quickly cut in before things could go any farther.

"So uh, you guys are trying to work things out, right?" she continued, "I mean there are a lot of fans out there who would want you guys to get back together."

" 'Get back together'? What do you mean, we never broke up," Cagalli huffed.

"Oh, uh, it just looked that way when you took your ring off. And the fact that it was Meyrin, not you, who came with Athrun to the memorial at the end of the series."

Cagalli suddenly looked very angry again, and MapleRose regretted her question. "Again, blame it all on that -bleeping- director! Just because I'm not 'cute', I'm like no longer a main character anymore!" She took a deep breath to calm herself, before continuing. "As for that final meeting thing, it's not my fault, I had a very important meeting to attend to. And those jerks had to set the meeting date on that day! It's not easy being the queen, er, I mean representative, or a nation you know."

"I see…" MapleRose kind of felt sorry for Cagalli, because with the responsibilities as the representative, she didn't have as much time to herself anymore.

"Besides," continued Cagalli, "Why would Athrun go with that Meyrin girl? I mean, she's a nobody. Me? I'm the leader of a nation for crying out loud! If Athrun sticks with me, he could be the king one day."

"Er Cagalli?" Athrun cut in, "I thought Orb didn't work on this type of monarchy? So technically, there isn't even a position for a king."

Cagalli glared, and Athrun gulped.

"A-And besides, who says I want to be king anyway?"

"I do."

Athrun shrunk back from her glare. "O-Okay, if you say so…"

"Eheh," MapleRose chuckled uneasily at that exchange. It seems that Cagalli was still very much angry. Better end this before too late.

"So uh, that's all we have time for! Thank you for coming Athrun and Cagalli!" she told her guests, sounding a bit too cheerful. And Athrun visibly relaxed with a sigh of relief.

MapleRose then turned to the camera. "Thank you very much for joining us for another episode of _Talking to the Couples_. I guess it wasn't _too_ bad, except for the ending part about Destiny. Note to self, stop bringing up questions and comments that would warrant an argument or get the guests angry. It will only end in a headache for everyone, including yourself."

"Ah!" MapleRose suddenly realized that she was ranting and mumbling to herself, and smiled sheepishly at the camera. "Sorry, a bit off topic there. Anyway. Next time, we have invited Miriallia and Dearka as our guests, so please tune in!"

As the camera cut to the credits, MapleRose looked to her guests and sighed in relief. It seemed that Cagalli finally managed to calm down, presumably with the help of Athrun, as she was resting against his shoulder, looking worn out. MapleRose sighed again, she was worn out as well. Hopefully, interviewing Dearka and Miriallia would be less stressful, though she highly doubted that.

* * *

_AN: Yes this one took awhile. I was busy with other things. Some parts were easy to write, others are more difficult. I tried to make this cute in some places and parody-ish in others. This wasn't as overly fluffy and sugary as the last one, as this couple doesn't quite make me go all fangirly. Nothing against Asucaga, I just find some parts of their relationship (like their first two meetings) amusing. Also, nothing against Cagalli either, but making her angry was rather amusing, esp the end. I'd be angry too if I were her, seeing as how she sort of got cut in Destiny. And finally, nothing against the director and his wife either. Sure they screwed up a whole bunch of things in Destiny, some parts they did all right. And they are the ones who brought us SEED and Destiny in the first place. Oh, and I just find Athrun's harem amusing, I kinda feel sorry for his unwanted popularity actually, he's just too much of a gentleman to say no to pushy girls._

_Anyway, couples MapleRose plans to interview (so far): Dearka and Milly, Kira and Lacus, Murrue and Waltfeld (which is rather amusing with bits I have so far), possibly Yzak and Shiho. Then maybe if I have time and energy I might move to the Destiny couples._


End file.
